- Finding Happiness in the Smallest of Things
- September 24th, 2011
Today I'm incredibly sick. But that's okay. Jimmy called me today, he's really sweet. And he's making a real effort to get to know me better. I can see things happening with this. I was supposed to see him today but again, I got hit with some sort of hideious illness. I've only had one cigarette today. Maybe that's because I'm sick.
My dad and I are working on our relationship, I'm gonna sleep at his house for the weekend. I'm really hungry but I don't feel like eating. Or moving. My entire body is aching. I have the hot and cold sweats. My stomach is acting up. And my nose is running, just one nostril though I can't breath through. It really screws with my OCD when that happens. It's really hard to keep my eyes open and stay awake.
What else can I say?
As the title says, I'm finding my happiness is the smallest of things. I'm leaving for my dads in about 45 minutes so I'm just trying to make time go by faster by writing in the journal.
I really like Demi Lovato's new song "Skyscraper", it reminds me a lot of myself sometimes. And my good friend Tori who has been through a LOT her whole life. I love her to itty bity pieces, she's one of my best friends.
After I'm done with this pack of cigarettes I think I'm gonna quit. I can't afford to keep getting them unfortunately. I got bills to pay. I'm gonna try quitting cold turkey. I wonder how that will go.
I really like livejournal, I can write all of my feelings down and what's going on and no one judges me and everyone's really nice about it.
You can take everything I have
You can break everything I am
Like I'm made of glass
Like I'm made of paper
Go on and try to tear me down
I will be rising from the ground
Like a skyscraper
I feel like I have a lot of energy right now to write. I'm also bored out of my mind.
So two of my best friends who have been on and off dating for a few months are getting really annoyed by every little thing the other does. They also do NOT trust eachother at all. The spark is kind of fading out and she ruined a good relationship to get back with him.
I just think people can be so dang stupid sometimes.
I'm hoping this Jimmy kid will finally be what I'm looking for. He sounds promising. ONE PROBLEM: he has a girlfriend. But it's an unhappy relationship. Idk, that's the only bad thing. We can't tell anyone in our crew we were hanging out with when I met him that we're getting to know eachother. That kind of seems sketchy but I can kind of understand it where he has a girlfriend and the crew we were with is full of drama queens. But I just don't wanna end up as the other girl. It's either me or her when it comes down to it. Jussayin'.
He's like my perfect guy, he rides horses, he loves farms, he's a kind of redneck. It's my dream guy minus the fact that he's in a relationship at the moment.
Also a plus: he has a REALLY attractive voice.
I'm just hoping I don't get hurt. But for right now I'm pretty content.
The difference between Jimmy and every other guy is that he has a CAR, he can DRIVE, he has a JOB, and he's actually making the effort. It's almost effortless for me. It was never like that before. Every other guy either didn't have his licence or didn't have a car or a job. For once I actually wanna get treated. And he's like me where as he doesn't really like going to the movies, he can just hang out at home. He's the kind of person you can have fun in a rock fight with. That's my kind of guy. He also loves farms. I also love farms. he rides horses. He loves animals. That's HOT.
This is my longest journal entry ever, I've been writing for a half hour. I'm kind of hungry. I don't know what I want. I'm gonna take a break from writing to go check my fridge. BRB!
I decided on a bottle of FUZE because I need to keep myself hydrated and my dad's grilling chicken for dinner. Yummy :)
My dad's actually a REALLY good cook.
I don't think anyone is gonna read this but whatever. I had fun with it and I'm gonna keep having fun with it.
I have to work tomorrow wicked sick and I'm getting my period tomorrow :( this is really gonna suck.
Alright I'm finally done writing. My hands hurt.. that's what she said. LAWL.